So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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