i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
