Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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