Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
