This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
