woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize