Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
