just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
