dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
