wakey wakey hands off snakey
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I bet he comes in French.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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