That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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