I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
