Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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