Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The beer is more important than you right now.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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