Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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