i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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