I'm lost and stupid without you.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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