Don't you send me to vm
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
