I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
