i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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