My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
