im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
PANTIES FOUND
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
