put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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