Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
