I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
