i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
