I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so let's talk penis.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
