In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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