I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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