East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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