Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
