I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
