she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
