I think I am morally bankrupt
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
