All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize