I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
