But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
