yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
