after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
PANTIES FOUND
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