I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize