just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
