That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
