ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
