Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
