We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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