I'm really into asian looking animals
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
