You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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