just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
