what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize