I showed him my bush... on skype.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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