Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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