If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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