How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
