oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
