OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize