Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
