guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
