somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
