I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize