Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
