I've blown a few things in my day
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
