You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
