Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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