in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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